Outline

Compare and Contrast the family and society influence of both Malala and Marjane.

Point:

1. Family

2. Education

3. Surroundings (living environment)

Outline:

Thesis: Malala and Marjane both shared similarities, but their differences were more prominent. These differences were the results of how their family and society influenced their lives and turned them into the persons they came out to be.

I. Family was a big influence on how Malala and Marjane were the type of person they turned out to be.

A. Malala’s parents were with her mentally and physically when on the other hand Marjane parents weren’t there physically.

B. Both parents cared for their child, but the way they showed it was different.

C. Both Malala’s parents and Marjane viewed couple things different which raised their girls to see things in different point of view.

II. For Marjane education was handed to her while on the other hand we have Malala risking her life to get educated.

A. Marjane took education for granted because she had more freedom than Malala did.

B. For Malala education was the only way to obtain freedom and be someone in life.

C. Malala was risking her life to get educated.

III. Environment

A. Marjane was sent out to France to avoid problems where she was from because she was so outspoken, and said what she thought without thinking of the consequences it would bring.

B. Malala had no choice, but to toughen up and face her cruel reality even  if it meant risking her life.

C. Malala used what was going around her as a motivation to succeed and get out of there while Marjane in a way let her surroundings get to her.

Revenge- Marji was a girl who was in favor or revenge. However, Malala wasn’t even after she got shot revenge never came across her mind.

God- Marji and Malala both believed in God, but Marji doubted him at time and Malala didn’t.

Go out alone- Marji was allowed to go out without a man unlike Malala.

Education- To Malala education was everything shewent to school even when it was dangerous. On the other hand Marji didn’t really care if she got educated or not.

Shame- Malala would of never denied her family how Marji did she was ashame of where she came from.

1. Why was Marji allowed to go out with out a man and also allowed to smoke?

2. Why didn’t Marji care if she got educated or not ?

Final Draft

He Was More Than Just an Influence

My soccer coach was a big influence in my life; he made me look at obstacles in a whole different point of view. I have used these obstacles in my life as motivation to keep myself moving forward to be successful. He didn’t just do his part as a coach, but he went above and beyond; he was a father figure, a role model, and a motivation. There were moments in my life when I felt left out because my little sister was diagnosed with cancer; because of that, most of the time, all the attention was on her. But, my coach turned our team into a family; we were like sisters, and we bonded like never before. He made sure I never felt left out. He was also a father figure to me because I never really had the chance to share a victory with my father and not because I don’t have one, but because he was never there. I guess I can say it seemed like I didn’t have one. My coach was always there to encourage me when I felt I wasn’t good enough. He constantly reminded me how important I was, and he showed me that he really cared for me by showing me fatherly affection. It was amazing how he knew me like the palm of his hand; he would be able to tell if I was sad, mad, or happy just by observing me throughout practice, and often asked me how I was doing when he knew something was wrong. Before our games he would always say these amazing speeches that would pump me up not just on the field, but also in the real world. He taught me great life lessons through this beautiful game that I was also able to apply in the real world, and I applaud him for that.

Rough Draft

My soccer coach was a big influence in my life he made me look at obstacles in a whole different point of view. I would us these obstacles as motivation he didn’t just do his part as a coach but he went above and beyond he was a father figure a role model and a motivation. There were moments in my life when I felt left out because my little sister was diagnosed with cancer at that moment all the attention was on her. But my coach turned our team into a family we were like sisters and we bonded like never before he made sure I never felt left out. He was also a father figure to me because I never really had the chance to share a victory with my father and not because I don’t have one but because he was never there I guess I can say it seemed like I didn’t have one. My coach was always there to encourage me when I felt I wasn’t good enough he constantly reminded me how important I was he showed me that he really cared for me by showing me father affection. It was amazing how he knew me like his palm of his hand he would be able to tell if I was sad, mad, or happy just by observing me throughout practice and often asked me how I was doing when he knew something was wrong. Before our games he would always say these amazing speeches that would pump me up not just in the field but also in the real world. He taught me great life lessons through this beautiful game that I was also able to apply in the real world and I applaud him for that.

Cause and Effect Pre Planing

Person that influenced me

1. My soccer coach has been a big influence in my life. He has been there for me when I was facing having a family member with cancer. At the time I felt left out but he turned the team into just more than a team but a family. He knew I wasn’t getting much attention at home.

2. He was also a father figure to me because I never really had a chance to share a victory with my father and not because I didn’t know him or cause I didn’t have one but because he never bother to go to my games but coach was always there for me end encouraging me along the way. He knew me so well he was always able to tell when I was sad, mad, or happy which I found amazing cause that showed me he cared for me.

3. Before games he would always say these amazing speeches that would pump me up not just in the field but also in life. He taught me great life lessons through this beautiful game that I was also able to apply in the real world.

Topic Sentence: He made me look at obstacles in a whole different way I would use them as motivation he didn’t just do his part as a coach but he went above and beyond on being a father figure a role model and a motivation.

Out Line

I. Felt left out

  • Turned soccer team into a family
  • We bonded like never before
  • Gave me attention something I wasn’t receiving at home.

II. Father Figure

  • Shared victories together.
  • He knew me so well he could tell how I was doing just my observing be during practice.
  • He would always encourage me to do better and always give it 110 percent.

III. Better style of living

  • He taught me great life lessons.
  • Take obstacles as a motivation.
  • Apply the same dedication you do to the sport to anything you do in life and you will be successful.

Cause and Effect

Making the Varsity soccer team as a freshman was already a success but there was more to come. Being my last year I high school I wanted to leave being recognized for all the hard work I put in for four years. I challenged myself. I wanted to be recognized as League MVP. I took action and with the help of my amazing coach it was achievable. All those long practices six days a week paid off. Yes we had our falls but coach was always there to pick us right back up. I remember staying by myself with coach working on my shooting. He constantly reminded me that anything I set myself to I could accomplish. He would always give his motivational speeches before games to pump us up and that was what would keep me going. Coach taught me that what you put in is what you will get out so give it your all. And I thank him because with his help I was recognized as League MVP his encouragement took me to the top.

Cause                                                                                                 Effect

  • I want to do more than what my older                                                   Family Pride

sisters did.

  • I want a better future for myself.                                                         I have gained knowledge.
  • I also want to prove people that I can accomplish                             I have been a bit stressed out.

anything I set myself to.